January 31, 2005 at 10:50 pm · Filed under General
So I was going to go on ahead and just build my own Blog to see if I could, but then I remembered that I’m really lazy and that this is really easy. Ahh, easy.
Anyhow, I’ll probably keep this up until I forget my password or stop caring. One or the other is bound to happen in the near future, but until then prepare yourself, because I spend a lot of my time being bored and looking for something to do.
Seriously though, today I woke up at 5 to the sweet sounds of Gunner puking on my comforter. If there’s a worse way to start my day I haven’t found it. Seriously. So I took him outside to pee while I gathered the necessary goods to clean up his filth. After all was said and done it was 10 to 6, so back to sleep I went. Until 6:20 when I had to get up and take the dogs for a walk. Awesome. I sometimes wonder why I love my dogs so much.
Well at least I had an incredibly boring day at work. That really helps me cope with not enough sleep. 8 hours of “copy & paste” is enough to make anyone a little suicidal, and I’m no exception. Luckily they took all of the sharp things out of the office. I did manage to finish around 20 pages for Pictures of Places, which is awesome because now there are only about 120 to go. Remind me to bring a shiv tomorrow. Ugh.
Evening was uneventful. Hung out with Ali. Played Halo 2, won 3 games, lost 2. Hung out with Ali. Watched stupid people on Fear Factor. I don’t understand the appeal of that show, but I suspect that it may have something to do with scantily clad girls gagging. Call me crazy.
Well I’m off for the night. I have to go out and pick up warm soft puppy poop with nothing to protect me but a safeway bag. Too bad I hate cats.
January 31, 2005 at 3:43 pm · Filed under General
Alright now, I know this is an off kilter way to start a Blog (I really should talk about why and vow to keep it up for some reason or another, but I know I won’t so why lie to myself), but I’d really like to take this opportunity to put forth a theory of mine. Keith’s Theory of Trucks in AlbertaTheory: The size of a man’s truck is directly proportional to how retarded he drives.
Proof: Do you really need proof? Just drive anywhere in Alberta. On any trip I guarantee you will see at least one dink in a giant truck driving like a total moron. It’s as inevitable as the tides. Pickups aren’t all that bad, usually prone to driving in the winter without sandbags, but that’s more funny to see than dangerous or truly retarded. A big Chevy truck… scary but still not the worst. Oft times the large Chevy is driven by old men or their wives.
No, the real problem I’m afraid lies with the Dodge Ram and the Ford F150. If you have one of those and you’re reading this, I’m sorry but you drive like a dickhead. Wait, I’m not sorry. You drive like a dickhead. Friggin’ stop it. Dickhead.
Where was I?
AH! My personal theory is that big trucks tie in to Keith’s Theory of Small Man Syndrome a different but equally as annoying theory of mine for another day. In this case I will propose the following:
The smaller a man’s “bit’s & pieces” the bigger the truck he needs to buy.
Some would say that is the realm of sports cars, but sports cars at least look cool, and frankly I assume that they work. Anyhow. Tiny Penis = Giant Truck. It’s the same as going out and buying the testosterone that God failed to see fit to give you. If you see a man driving a Dogde Ram quad cab extended box dualie (dually…?) you know that he’s packin’ about an inch and a half. That’s why they drive so aggressively. To prove to everyone that they’re all man! How could they not be, what with their giant trucks.
I hate them all. Hate is a strong word…. but it seems the most fitting.
