Starting this blog has really brought to my attention how truly atrocious my spelling and grammar have become over the last few years. I blame MSN and the people I chat with therein. MSN is the grammar devil, encouraging such wonderful proclamations as OMG LMAO, or btw. I try to avoid using ‘web savvy’ lingo whenever possible, but I fear that constant exposure to such grammatical rapings has dulled my senses and left me slow and useless.All of this lead to something that has always bugged me. I hate it when you ask someone how to spell a word and they tell you to look it up in the dictionary. That is the damn dumbest thing you could possible recommend. I’ll write this in bold type to really make my point here:
The dictionary is sorted alphabetically.
This is common sense to most people but for some reason people (teachers among them) seem to think that having no idea how to spell a word would not preclude me from being able to spell at least the first half of said word. That’s garbage sister. From now on if anyone tells me to look something up in the dictionary I’m going on the offensive.
It would save everyone some time if they’d just spell it for you. Unless they can’t spell it and are trying to play it cool so you don’t know that they’re just as dumb as you are. What about words like llama or ghost or island. If you didn’t know there were silent letters in there you’d never friggin find them unless you resorted to reading the entire section of the dictionary. I’ve got better things to do.
What do you even learn looking it up in the dictionary? Where’s the advantage? I already know the friggin’ alphabet, otherwise I’d be asking you how to spell, not how to spell a word. I’m not going to learn how to spell the word any easier by finding it in the dictionary. Oh yeah, obligatory, that was on page 1075 of the 2005 Webster’s dictionary so it must be spelled…..
I think a solid smack should be allowed anytime someone suggests something that stupid to me. In general, not just in this instance. I want a law cleared that would allow me to smack one stupid person every day. Only one though. Otherwise the world would grind to a halt and be consumed by the deafening roar of a million bitch slaps. Seriously, if I had one slap a day I’d really save it for when someone did something paticularly stupid. Then, wa-SMACK, and I’d feel better. As a plus eventually stupid people would learn to just sit there silently, and I think we can all agree that that would be a good thing. Maybe there could be a punch card system or something. It’d go like this:
keith: how do you spell ‘renaissance’?
person: look it up in the dictionary.
BITCH SLAP
person: you’re right, that was a terribly stupid thing for me to suggest.
keith: no problem, could you punch my card for me?
Then the world would be a better place.
