Upon closer inspection, I care not at all for politics. For some reason the keep trying to edge their way into my life, largely in the early morning when I’m grumpy and looking for stuff to complain about. Thus, my last two posts. I say “Enough with politics” and as such return to my bread and butter…. complaining about stuff that happens to me on a day to day basis. Hazaa!First off, I would like to take this opportunity to declare to the world that I would give all that I have for the opportunity to beat Ben Mulroney senseless. Is it just me, or is he, without question, the most ridiculously annoying person on the face of the earth. And why is he so damned tanned? Hey Ben… you live in Canada, you shouldn’t be tanned year round. And your coiffure of hair is ridiculous. Stop wearing makeup! Yaaarrrgh!
Seriously, I’m fairly sure that everyone in Canada would be happier if they didn’t know he existed. I can only assume that he’s famous as a result of his Dad pimping some cash to the CBC or something. There is no other plausible explanation as to why someone that annoying, that stupid looking and that cheesy should be on TV. I actually get angry whenever I see his damn smug face. Yaaaarrrgh!
I should start a Ben Mulroney Fan (ofpunchinghiminthebelly) Club. Who’s decision was it to hire that goon? I can imagine the meeting went something like this:
exec1: Hey, do you know what I hate?
exec2: No, what’s that?
exec1: Canadians. Now what’s something we can do to really show them how much we hate them and how little we care whether or not they watch our channel, what with all of our government subsidies?
exec3: We could show full frontal male nudity every hour on the hour. Nobody wants to see that.
exec1: No, there’s laws against that, and there’s a slight change that homosexuals and women won’t hate it. I really want to repulse the whole of Canada here, give them a really vigorous FU.
exec2; Well, we could always hire this goon Ben Mulroney. I mean, people kinda hated his Dad….
exec1: I don’t know…
exec3: we have his promo shot here if you’d like to see it.
exec1 (after seeing Ben Mulroney for the first time) : God, I would give my kidneys to be able to punch that man in the face. He’s PERFECT. Quickly, make him the host of every show we have, I want CTV to be the Ben Mulroney channel.
I someday hope to tell Ben Mulroney what a preppy, makeup wearing, fake tanning, effeminate, manicured, metrosexual, Hugo Boss lovin’, assless chapin’, cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy Shit! Where’s the Tylenol?
