You know what I friggin’ hate? When people decide that it’s okay to park anywhere in the damn world because they have their hazard lights on. Newsflash morons, that’s not what hazard lights are for! Bah!Today on my way to work driving down 109st in the early stages of rush hour some lady stops in the right hand lane, throws on the hazards and honks for her friend to come out of the apartment building. Meanwhile, the five cars behind her all have to make there way into the next lane over, fighting the oncoming traffic all the way. Why do people think that this is acceptable behavior?

“hey man, you can’t just park in the middle of a busy street”

“don’t worry about it buddy, I’ve got my hazards on”

“oh sorry, my mistake. Hey, while you’ve got those hazard lights on why don’t you rob a bank, toe punt a baby, beat an old man with his cane, and burn down some churches. With the freedom to act outside the law afforded to you with those flashing lights you could rule the world!”

That’s how OJ got off you know. During that high speed chase with the white Bronco I clearly remember seeing the hazard lights flashing. It’s not wonder the couldn’t convict him, “if the lights were a flashin’, he’s blameless for slashin’”.

So who cares about the rest of the world, you fat friend can’t be bothered to walk to the corner! Who am I to suggest that you exit traffic before stopping, that would be inconvenient to you. Slam those brakes and snap on those flashers, while you’re at it, beat a sack full of kittens with a bat. This is Alberta dammit, it’s your right, NAY, your responsibility to drive like a complete moron.

Hazaa!