Do you like Pop music? I sure as hell don’t, with the noteworthy exception of Justin Timberlake of course. He’s dreamy. As I think about the nature of music it occurs to me that none of my friends like Pop music either. This has led me to believe that either one of two things must be true.
- All of my friends are anti-social, counter-culture, alternative lifestyle loving hippies, or
- Pop music isn’t overly popular
I can’t really decide which it is. As far as I can tell the only people who are really into Pop music are girls aged 13-21 and guys who want to get with girls aged 13-21. That and stupid people. Stupid people would like anything if you put a beat to it, they’re stupid like that.So now I’m thinking that at least 50% of the population must consist of girls aged 13-21 and guys who want to get with girls aged 13-21. Based on the amount of albums that these so called pop stars are able to sell, that must be the case. Yet according to Stats Canada there are only 2,976,375 females in Canada aged 10 to 24, out of a total of 30,007,090 Canadians (2001). That’s only 9.92%. So say, of that 9.92%, half like the Backstreet Boys (they’re back!) and the other half like R&B or whatever. Then an additional 5% of guys want to sleep with one of those girls, and are willing to listen to Pop music to do so. That’s about 15% of Canadians.
15% is not nearly enough to warrant the attention that the media, radio stations, and television afford to Pop music. That means 85% of Canadians DON’T listen to Pop music, and isn’t ‘Pop’ short for ‘popular’? If 85% of people don’t like something, I wouldn’t take the leap of faith and dare to call it popular. But I’m crazy like that.
The real problem is that girls aged 13-21 have a lot of disposable income. And guys who want to sleep with girls aged 13-21 are willing to dispose of a lot of their income to do so. Oh yeah, and stupid people. They also would like to spend their money on Pop music, but luckily, by and large, stupid people aren’t smart enough to make money. What money they do have is usually spent on shiny things and McDonald’s. So this leaves girls aged 13-21 and their horny counterparts. Damn them. Damn their disposable income. Damn the fact that I know the Backstreet Boys have a new album coming out. Damn the people who buy it. Damn a system runs on marketing target audiences in defiance of talented people. Damn the people willing to sell out just to sell albums. Most of all, damned if that new JT album isn’t the most kickingest album because he is so like totally dreamy and stuff.
