Movies currently playing in Edmonton that I haven’t seen:
- Broken Flowers - I have no idea what this is.
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - For some reason I don’t care the least little bit whether or not I see this movie. Possibly because deep down, I think Johnny Depp is annoying. Mostly because he’s named after hair gel.
- Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo - I have drawn a line in the sand, and once again refuse to see any sequels under any circumstance. I suggest that you do the same until Hollywood gets the point.
- Dukes of Hazzard - This movie looks slightly worse than a kick in the testicles.
- Four Brothers - Ya got them, good vibrashu-uns…
- Island - Complete John Woo wanna-be tripe. Unless it actually is a John Woo movie, in which case it is simply tripe.
- Must Love Dogs - I have never heard of this movie.
- Skeleton Key - I have never heard of this movie.
- Supercross - Who watches these movies, and how do they keep from swallowing their own tongues?
- War of the Worlds - I’ve been meaning to see this one, but it wasn’t playing during the matinee.
- Wedding Crashers - Supposed to be hilarious, however, I’m pretty sure that if I took my fifteen year old brother in law to this movie that my mother in law would beat me up.
With these “Hot Hollywood Hits” to choose from is it any wonder that Sky High gets four of a possible five Tony Danza heads? I think not.
Eh oh, oh eh, I’m going to go way out on a limb here and saying that children’s movie are, by far, better written, directed and acted than most of the bile pumped out of Hollywood these days. Just take a look at the highest grossing movies of the last few years and I think you’ll see what I mean. Shrek, The Incredibles, Harry Potter, The Polar Express, Finding Nemo, The Pirates of the Caribbean, Monster’s Inc. and so on and so forth. All of these movies were great, except possibly The Polar Express, which I never saw.
Pretty much every other successful film was an uber high budget action flic, backed by an enormous marketing campaign. These movies are usually complete crap. The only reason people claim to like them is because people are retarded, and all of the bright flashing lights and explosions, combined with an irrelevant plot and the off chance of seeing titties, make for brainless viewing. I will freely admit that quite often I am in the mood to check my brain at the door and just watch people shoot stuff. It’s fun, and sometimes I don’t feel much like thinking.
Yet back we go to Sky High. Primarily I liked this movie because it was funny, and not just ‘cute’ or ’silly’ but actually clever and witty. I laughed out loud several times, which did lead to some embarrassment. At one point there is a thinly veiled joke, packed with innuendo, and I laughed right out loud. Sadly it was during the Matinee, and I was the only one who laughed. I can only hope that my laughter led to some child asking “Mom, why is that funny?” and that some Mom had to explain to her child that I am crazy, and that’s why you should never talk to strangers.
The story was good, the twist was clever, the characters were interesting, and the cliches were necessary. It was a kids superhero movie, so of course things are going to be a little over the top.
My only real complaint was Kurt Russell’s costume. It was stupid looking. First of all, superheros don’t wear plastic capes. Second, it looked like it was one solid piece of white plastic that had been spray painted red and blue by a blind preteen in the depths of Malaysia.
At least Kelly Preston is wearing little but lycra.
The point of all of this is: Rather than go see any of the complete crap that is currently in theatres, go see Sky High.
