Ever have a day where everything that you do is done by a complete moron. You wake up and look in the mirror, and there is a moron staring back at you.

“What are you doing here moron? Who let you in?” But it’s too late. He’s here, and he is here to stay.

You do your thing in the morning, but you don’t eat, because you slept in like a moron. Only smart people wake up in time to eat.

So you drive to work, and being a moron arrive 15 minutes late. You try to start working on whatever it is you’re after, but the moron keeps interrupting you.

“Hey dude, change the station, this song sucks.”

“What’s the name of that guy who did that stuff?”

“When you rushed out this morning because your wife was late with the car did you close the garage door?”

Stupid moron. You are able to get some stuff done, but it’s a constant battle against stupidity. Then the moron reminds you that you have a warranty meeting at you house at one and you have to take a late lunch. Luckily, being the moron that you are, you slept through breakfast and are starving.

You leave for your meeting and get stuck waiting for a train. Being an impatient moron, you get frustrated and turn around to try an alternative route and get stuck in traffic. As a result of this decision, you are forced to skip buying something to eat in order to make it to the meeting on time.

You arrive home, starving and late for the meeting. At least you can take solace in the fact that you forgot to go grocery shopping last night, the moron that you are, and as a result all you have for available for lunch are some stale nacho chips (baked), and a stick of pepperoni. That ought to tide you over until dinner though.

Being a moron it never occurred to you to ask what this warranty meeting was all about, so it comes as a great surprise when, after the meeting, people come into your house and start fixing all the stuff you just complained about.

So you’re trapped at your house, there are strangers working and you have to be back at work. Do you a) call you office and explain the situation, or b) run around like a moron making sure that people are doing stuff right and being a pain in the ass? Remember now, you are a moron.

Your boss calls when you’re two hours late coming back from lunch and tells you that you shouldn’t bother coming in for the rest of the afternoon. This can’t be all that bad can it? The moron says no.

So you haven’t really eaten all day. The strangers have all left, and you house is in a state of disrepair. You could eat and then tidy up, or you could clean up and forget to eat. It’s a pretty obvious decision.

After you’re done cleaning up, you are freaking starving and don’t forget, you forgot to get groceries. You eat the five day old spaghetti that had been left out over night that was too gross to eat at lunch. This makes more sense that going out for a bite to eat because you are a moron.

I am honestly surprised that I didn’t choke on my own tongue while I slept. At least today I get to deal with all of the consequences of turning my brain off for a day.