I was listening to the local alternative radio station here in Edmonton, Sonic, and a Beastie Boys song came on. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not a huge Beastie Boys fan, but they do give me some warm/fuzzies as I recall my past. I still remember listening to Ill Communication while on vacation when I was a youngster. It actually prompted my uncle to say “rap music, more like crap music” which was hilarious (because he said crap).

Then I got to thinking. The Beastie Boys are the only rap music that I ever listened to as a youngster. The Beastie Boys are the only rap music played on Sonic. We listen to satellite radio here at work, and there is a station called “Alt Nation”. The only rap they play is by the Beastie Boys.

What makes the Beastie Boys more alternative than other rap bands? If you guessed “they’re white”, I would have to think that you’re correct. That is the only discernible difference that I can see.

I would have to assume most of the blame falls on MTV. Back in the 80’s black people must have been scary. That’s why rap music was really scary. I think that if you were a white person in the 80’s you pretty much assumed that if you heard rap music, it meant that black people were about to kill you. Then along came the Beastie Boys, they were a young bunch of white kids. They weren’t scary at all, one of them was even named Mike, and no one is afraid of a white dude named Mike. And the music really did have a good beat didn’t it. No sir, I will not sleep until Brooklyn, because I fight for my right to par-tay! MTV thought to themselves “hey, here’s something that parents will hate, and as such, teenagers will love”, so they put the Beastie Boys into heavy rotation (this, of course, was while MTV still played music).

This has all led to now, where I, a suburban white kid from Canada, am forced to listen to the Beastie Boys instead of my sad bastard alternative music. I suppose many a boy my age likes the Beastie Boys. From the late 80’s to early 90’s they were the only rap band most of us had ever heard of. Them or Will Smith, but most white kids my age probably don’t know that Will Smith was a rapper before he got a TV show. I didn’t know until I was older.

I must say that I am confused still as to where the distinction lays. I’m not afraid of black people, so really, if you’re going to play rap, play rap that I like more than the Beastie Boys. I promise that my parents will still hate it. But seemingly Sonic is afraid of black people, or at least afraid of black rappers. They could play Eminem I suppose, but he’s friends with black people, so you wouldn’t want to risk a black person accidentally making his way onto friendly alternative radio.