I long ago made a vow that I would not purchase any product that is the victim of a terrible marketing campaign. For instance, I refuse to eat at Mr. Sub to this very day because their marketing is so impressively retarded it causes one to question the value of human life.

I’ve been taught that it takes at least seven impressions of an item before you’re willing to buy it. Basically, if you buy something, chances are that you’ve seen something advertising it at least seven times prior to that purchase. In my mind it only seems logical that if those seven impressions are favorable and I buy something because people are telling me I should; then to be fair I should refuse to buy anything where my impression is unfavorable.

Where does all of this lead? Straight to the Xbox360. I honestly didn’t want one. I bought the original Xbox shortly after it came out for an absurd amount of money, and then waited an entire year before any good games came out. Then before I knew it, there were tones of great games and the system only cost about $2. In the end I had paid a lot more money so that I could play Halo for a year. I refuse to make that mistake again, so I told myself I would wait at least one year prior to buying the Xbox360.

So imagine my surprise when, on November 22, I practically begged my wife to let me buy one. There I was, just minding my own business and helping my Mom choose a new laptop computer when WHAM! There it was, my seventh impression of the Xbox360. Amidst all of the hype regarding the scarcity of the 360, I could see one. And not that cheap ass core model either. No sir, this was the full meal deal. I wanted it. Bad. It was so sexy sitting there, in it’s little white box. Looking at me all “you know you want me.”

“Damn you 360! You stay away from me! I’ve been hurt before!” I said.

“But I’m different this time. I have a strong lineup of launch titles, and Xbox Live is functional right out of the box.”

“You say that you’ve changed Xbox, and I want to believe you. I loved you once, but you hurt me too deeply. I can’t risk it happening again. My heart couldn’t take it.”

“But IronKeith, I’ve changed! If you buy me today it can be just like it used to be. You can play for hours on end. Look at my sleek curves and ergonomic controller. You must be able to tell that this time I really mean it!”

“Shhh…. you had me at ‘backwards compatible’.”

Luckily my wife wouldn’t let me buy one. My mean, mean, bully of a wife. I’m just kidding, I really do love my Xbox…. err wife.