It’s been over a week now since Faye was born and I’m beginning to feel to effects of sleep deprivation. I haven’t even had it all that bad; between Ali, her Mom and my Mom the majority of the baby’s needs have been taken care of. I just change some diapers, feed her the occasional bottle and rock her to sleep - it’s no big drama. The thing is that I cannot sleep if Faye is crying and she’ll let out a good belt every 2-3 hours. I don’t get up every time, but I do wake up every time and it’s messing with my sleep cycles.

When uninterrupted I sleep like it’s a sport. I go to bed, fall asleep and then wake up 8 hours later. I challenge anyone to interrupt that sleep routine because usually once I’m out, it’s for the night. I’ve slept through the fire alarm (luckily the house wasn’t on fire), I’ve slept while there are people over, I’ve even slept on the floor of the Hong Kong airport. Before Faye was born I worried that I’d sleep through her crying but if that girl so much as coos gently in the night I’m wide awake.

This is affecting me in a fundamental way - my brain is ceasing to function properly. This does not bode well for my return to work as currently “what’s your name” is a hard question. Today I went to Home Depot to buy a new burner for my BBQ and some felt pads for my kitchen chairs (so they don’t scratch the floor). I found a burner, paid for and went home without even looking for felt pads. Going to the grocery store without a list is a lost cause, I’ll just stand there for minutes on end with a blank look on my face. Sometimes I’ll sit down at my computer, fire it up, then stare at my screen while I try to remember why it is I sat down in the first place. I wrote my cousin an email the other day to tell her about the baby, when I proofread it there wasn’t a compete sentence to be found. I didn’t even fix it because it seemed like too much work.

I wonder how long I’ll be like this before my brain adapts? Hopefully not too long or I’ll be a (forced) stay at home Dad when my lack of wherewithal forces my employer to offer me extremely early retirement - minus the pension.

I totally understand all those stories you hear about people forgetting their kids in the back seat or on the roof of their cars. If Faye makes it to be a toddler she’ll do so in defiance of my mental capacities.