Man am I sick and tired. Literally. I’ve been pushing myself as hard as I can - at home and at work - and today is the first day where I can take a break, sit back, and take a deep breath (through my mouth, as my nose is plugged tight) and reflect.

Retrospectively, I cannot believe that the last year happened in only 12 months. Surely time must be be playing a cruel joke on me. I cannot wrap my mind around how many ways my life has changed.  

Work has been a rollercoaster of triumph and success, hardship and stress, opportunity and advancement, frustration and failure, and ultimately, learning and advancement. I’m blessed in so many ways; the opportunities I’ve been given, the trusts I’ve earned, the people I work with. Sometimes it’s so easy to get lost in the day to day stresses and tasks; I’m truly thankful to the people who have helped me step back and see the big picture, and just how lucky I am.

Home is an ever evolving insanity. Can I really have a daughter? Have I really been married for over four years? When did I become a home owner? It’s all so incredibly surreal. Faye is the best, worst thing that could ever happen to me. It’s amazing how she can be so incredibly stressful and scary, how I worry about her like I’ve never worried about anything, ever. I would do anything for her, I would give anything to protect her. It’s a scary time in your life when you realize that, for the first time ever, you care about something far more than yourself. Suddenly, there’s just nothing more important to me than my family. It’s a tragedy that the thing in my life that bring me the most happiness are the same things that fill me with fear and dread that I might lose them. It’s incredible to love my wife and baby above myself. I cannot possibly deserve either of them, but I am so thankful that they’re mine.

And it’s Christmas. I have two weeks to sit back, relax, and try and sort all of this out. It’s been such an incredible year, but if next year is anything like it my head will probably explode. This last year has been like no other in my life. I suppose I shouldn’t fear change, but if change would do me a favour and slow down just a tad, it would probably help me to maintain my sanity.

That’s all for now, Merry Christmas, God bless, and chances are - if you’re reading this - I love you (but not like that).