When the App Store was announced I was pumped. I seriously thought that this was going to be a game changer - especially when they started demoing their “built in two weeks” apps. This was some impressive stuff: accelerometers, phone, touch display, Mac OS; the stage was set for new hotness. So why are there no killer apps?
As of today (July 30, 08) the top ten paid apps are:
- Units Converter (Google does this for me, for free and better/faster)
- Brain Challenge (useless mini-games; this internet is full of them)
- Super Monkey Ball (admittedly, really fun)
- Texas Hold’em (yeah, I don’t know where I’d play poker for free without this…)
- Crash Bandicoot (haven’t played it, but the console versions were always lame)
- Units (again, Google’s got my back here)
- Tuner Internet Radio (might be okay, but pandora and Last.fm are free)
- OneTap Movies (almost a good idea, but again, Google is better and free)
- Tetris (wheeeee, if it was fun in ‘86 it must still be fun now, what with accelerometers and all.)
- A Level (literally, a bubble level. Why would I need this? Are there a lot of people doing construction using their $500 phones as tools?)
Top ten free apps:
- Labyrinth Lite Edition (it’s like Super Monkey Ball, but shitty!)
- Sudoku (well, at least I’m safe if the world runs out of newspapers)
- Facebook (their iPhone web app is way better, why would I want an app that does less?)
- Palringo Instant Messenger (no persistant applications + typing on an iPhone = crappy instant messenger)
- Tap Tap Revenge (admittedly, really fun)
- iPint (I can’t think of many things more useless than this)
- Apache Lander (*Keith shakes his head*)
- Remote (kinda neat - if you own a Mac)
- Showtimes (like OneTap Movies, but free! And not as good as Google!)
- Phone Saber (I’m a huge Star Wars nerd and I still think this is retarded)
There nothing in there that makes the iPhone a “must have.” Do you want to know what I think the best app on the iPhone is? Safari - because it makes pretty much every app listed above pretty much useless. If it’s already being done (and done well) on the web, why do I need a superfluous app cluttering my display? Where is the creativity and innovation? Why aren’t people making the most of this API?
The really cool apps all exist for JailBroken iPhones; NES emmulators, Skype, Qik, using the iPhone as a modem, Last.fm with scrobbling, etc. Now, many of these push the boundaries of the law (some more blatantly than others) but others can never exist on a legit iPhone because of Apple’s lame API. Things that instantly bother me about Apple’s API:
- Apps cannot run in the background (probably to save battery life, but how about we let me decide how I want to use my battery life? No?)
- Apps cannot access my music. Seriously? You’ve pretty much just added a phone to an iPod. Hell, the Touch is an iPod. Let the apps access my music. Stop copying, transferring, uploading, downloading, I don’t care, but let apps access my music. Custom playlists in games? Fancy pandora-esque apps that learn which band I like best? There are good ideas to be had there.
- A closed community. It’s an API that I can have full access to with an email address and a smile. Let me talk about it on my blog, ok?
- I want the ability to charge a licensing fee for an app, not just an outright purchase. Hook me up with some residuals people. Technically not an API problem…
As for good apps, I’d like to see some of these sooner than later:
- Voice memos. “How do I record audio from the built-in microphone?” is one of the first questions listed in the developer center. This cannot be overly difficult. Note: there is an app that does this now, I set this post to “appear in the future,” and while it was fermenting, someone launched YouNote. Thanks!
- Nuvi style GPS mapping. I know it’s coming soon, but I’m impatient.
- A simple photo editing application.
- A video camera app (Qik can do it, there might be a legit way).
- A physical training app (view my routine, videos of how to do the exercise, read descriptions, listen to music, enter progress, and be awesome).
- A decent time tracking app.
- Skype (I really doubt the telecos would ever let this one drop…)
- Putty (it would be really handy for we nerds).
That’s just off the top of my head! That’s 5 minutes of brainstorming! C’mon developers, we can do better than the twenty failures listed above!
To those of you who ask “if you have such great ideas, why don’t you build apps?” The answer is that I don’t own a Mac (yet). When I do, I will create apps which shame the shit heap currently available.
As a final note to developers around the world: Stop making apps that already have excellent web based equivalents. Safari already grants me easy access to them; you’re wasting your time! Focus on making something great and unique instead of something that’s already been done.
While I’m complaining about the iPhone:
- More storage please; the Touch fits 32GB, make the phone do it and we can be friends.
- For the love of all that is holy, when I’m typing and I rotate the phone 90 degrees rotate the keyboard. The wider keyboard is so much easier to use, yet the only application I’ve seen use it is Safari (thus cementing its status as the best iPhone app). My Blackberry has taught me to type with my thumbs, why are you trying to take this away from me? This cannot be all that hard!
- Copy & paste isn’t a feature. It’s a thing that ever device which accepts text input should be able to do.
- I can haz real battery life plz?
