Archive for Faye
October 25, 2008 at 10:57 am · Filed under Faye
My baby is the cutest. I don’t mean to be sappy, and I’m not being silly, but seriously, how could anyone deny this:
You can’t. You can try, but you’ll fail.
You know, I’ve actually tried to be detatched and unemotional. I’ve observed her patiently for the last year and a half. I’ve stared at her from every angle, every distance. This isn’t because I’m her Father either; as a man of science I have evaluated the evidence at hand and found all other babies wanting.
I know what you’re thinking “that baby isn’t the cutest in the world, mine is.” That’s just sad. When you think like that, I just feel sad for you. You’re clearly not able to see how flawed and ugly your baby is because you lack my crystal clear objectivity.
My baby is so beautiful that I would never enter her into a “beautiful baby contest” as then it would cease to be a contest. The other babies would all feel ugly and stupid, and I’d end up feeling sorry for them too. I think it’s best to let them celebrate their little victories - it’s good for their self-esteem.
Sorry to the other babies in the world. You can be jealous - that’s just natural - but don’t blame Faye. It’s not her fault that she’s perfect.
June 7, 2008 at 8:23 pm · Filed under Faye, General
I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among “kids these days.” When given a “thank you” they will return a “yup” or a “yeah.” It drives me insane.
When I was a kid, my Dad was a manners Nazi. Elbows off the table! Please and thank you! Ask before doing! And if someone said “thank you,” failing to respond with a “you’re welcome” would result in the look. A look so menacing that, without words, my Dad could convey that he fully intended to teach me what it means to regret. A look which would leave me with no doubt that my Dad could - and would - end me.
This makes it sound like my Dad was quite the bully and while I’m sure he thinks that he’s a bad ass, the truth is that he was a one trick pony. Never, ever in my childhood did my Dad have to escalate a situation beyond the look. He didn’t have to hit me, or spank me, or yell at me; he used the look to let me know that if I did not immediately reconsider my actions he would do something much worse. Mind you, I have no idea what, but the look made it pretty clear that I didn’t want to find out. The few times I dared to test the boundaries of the look and question its absolute authority, I was met with a somehow more menacing look, and the phrase “did you just lose your mind?” I never once pressed beyond that point for fear that if the look hardened once more I would catch fire.
Now I’m sure that most people in the world will tell you that threatening your kids is a bad thing, and I’m fairly confident that spankings aren’t really acceptable anymore. It’s just that it seems to me that kids, by nature, will test every boundary placed in front of them. If there are no repercussions for crossing those boundaries, there is no incentive to obey them.
The decay of manners bothers me. I fear that my own daughter will end up as one of those punk kids. Something so simple as saying “you’re welcome” makes a big difference in how people perceive you. I would be embarrassed to hear my daughter reply “yup” to “thank you”; so why doesn’t anyone else seem to be? All I know is that I think it’s time I start practicing the look in the mirror. I could never hurt my daughter, but she doesn’t need to know that.
December 22, 2007 at 1:29 pm · Filed under Faye, General, Work
Man am I sick and tired. Literally. I’ve been pushing myself as hard as I can - at home and at work - and today is the first day where I can take a break, sit back, and take a deep breath (through my mouth, as my nose is plugged tight) and reflect.
Retrospectively, I cannot believe that the last year happened in only 12 months. Surely time must be be playing a cruel joke on me. I cannot wrap my mind around how many ways my life has changed.
Work has been a rollercoaster of triumph and success, hardship and stress, opportunity and advancement, frustration and failure, and ultimately, learning and advancement. I’m blessed in so many ways; the opportunities I’ve been given, the trusts I’ve earned, the people I work with. Sometimes it’s so easy to get lost in the day to day stresses and tasks; I’m truly thankful to the people who have helped me step back and see the big picture, and just how lucky I am.
Home is an ever evolving insanity. Can I really have a daughter? Have I really been married for over four years? When did I become a home owner? It’s all so incredibly surreal. Faye is the best, worst thing that could ever happen to me. It’s amazing how she can be so incredibly stressful and scary, how I worry about her like I’ve never worried about anything, ever. I would do anything for her, I would give anything to protect her. It’s a scary time in your life when you realize that, for the first time ever, you care about something far more than yourself. Suddenly, there’s just nothing more important to me than my family. It’s a tragedy that the thing in my life that bring me the most happiness are the same things that fill me with fear and dread that I might lose them. It’s incredible to love my wife and baby above myself. I cannot possibly deserve either of them, but I am so thankful that they’re mine.
And it’s Christmas. I have two weeks to sit back, relax, and try and sort all of this out. It’s been such an incredible year, but if next year is anything like it my head will probably explode. This last year has been like no other in my life. I suppose I shouldn’t fear change, but if change would do me a favour and slow down just a tad, it would probably help me to maintain my sanity.
That’s all for now, Merry Christmas, God bless, and chances are - if you’re reading this - I love you (but not like that).
April 6, 2007 at 9:21 am · Filed under Faye
Two weeks down and I’m still here (for the most part). I figured now would be a good time to recap the highs and lows of fatherhood thus far.
The Lows
- Sleep, eh guys? Cool. Well, see ya later!
Why can I sleep through everything but my baby crying?
- Poop
Sometimes it seems that each and every time I get a clean diaper under Faye, she poops. Not cool Faye, not cool. Diaper aren’t free ya know.
- The guessing game
Faye is crying. Is she gassy/did she poop/does she have to poop/is she hungry/does she need some love/would a soother work/should I just rock and shush her back to sleep/should I swaddle her?
The Highs
- Gassy smiles
I know they aren’t real smiles, but they’re close enough.
- Her smell
I don’t think anything has ever smelled better than my daughter (Note: Her poop doesn’t smell yet).
- The face she makes after feeding
It’s kind of hard to describe, I’ll have to take a picture. Rest assured that it’s really cute.
- She doesn’t cry too much
I’ve heard horror stories of babies who cry all day and night. Faye only cries when she wants something, otherwise she is completely content to sleep or just sit there.
April 1, 2007 at 6:09 pm · Filed under Faye
It’s been over a week now since Faye was born and I’m beginning to feel to effects of sleep deprivation. I haven’t even had it all that bad; between Ali, her Mom and my Mom the majority of the baby’s needs have been taken care of. I just change some diapers, feed her the occasional bottle and rock her to sleep - it’s no big drama. The thing is that I cannot sleep if Faye is crying and she’ll let out a good belt every 2-3 hours. I don’t get up every time, but I do wake up every time and it’s messing with my sleep cycles.
When uninterrupted I sleep like it’s a sport. I go to bed, fall asleep and then wake up 8 hours later. I challenge anyone to interrupt that sleep routine because usually once I’m out, it’s for the night. I’ve slept through the fire alarm (luckily the house wasn’t on fire), I’ve slept while there are people over, I’ve even slept on the floor of the Hong Kong airport. Before Faye was born I worried that I’d sleep through her crying but if that girl so much as coos gently in the night I’m wide awake.
This is affecting me in a fundamental way - my brain is ceasing to function properly. This does not bode well for my return to work as currently “what’s your name” is a hard question. Today I went to Home Depot to buy a new burner for my BBQ and some felt pads for my kitchen chairs (so they don’t scratch the floor). I found a burner, paid for and went home without even looking for felt pads. Going to the grocery store without a list is a lost cause, I’ll just stand there for minutes on end with a blank look on my face. Sometimes I’ll sit down at my computer, fire it up, then stare at my screen while I try to remember why it is I sat down in the first place. I wrote my cousin an email the other day to tell her about the baby, when I proofread it there wasn’t a compete sentence to be found. I didn’t even fix it because it seemed like too much work.
I wonder how long I’ll be like this before my brain adapts? Hopefully not too long or I’ll be a (forced) stay at home Dad when my lack of wherewithal forces my employer to offer me extremely early retirement - minus the pension.
I totally understand all those stories you hear about people forgetting their kids in the back seat or on the roof of their cars. If Faye makes it to be a toddler she’ll do so in defiance of my mental capacities.
March 30, 2007 at 9:43 pm · Filed under Faye
Our first week with Faye has come and gone, and it really hasn’t been all that bad. If I could sum the whole experience up with one word it would be “routine“. Not to say there hasn’t been any stress - Faye pooping in the bathtub comes to mind - but there really isn’t much variance from day to day.
8am - Wake up, feed Faye. Burp her and change her diaper. Ali goes back to bed, and I either play with the baby (if she’s up), or go back to bed.
11am - Wake up (or if I’m awake, wake Ali up), feed Faye. Burp her and change her diaper. Eat some lunch. Ali goes back to bed, and I either play with the baby (if she’s up), or play on the computer.
3pm - Wake up Ali, feed Faye. Burp her and change her diaper. Start thinking about dinner, and maybe do some visiting (this is prime time for visitors). Faye’s usually wide awake for quite a while here, and Ali is up for the day.
7pm - Dinner.
8pm - Feed Faye, burp her and strip her naked. Bath her, clothe her, and settle her for bed.
10pm - Get ready for bed and go to sleep.
2am - Wake up, feed Faye. Ali or her Mom usually settles her while I sleep.
5am - Wake up, feed Faye. Anyone with the energy settles Faye.
Repeat.
I know it seems pretty boring, but it honestly feels like there isn’t much spare time in the day. Cyndy (my mother-in-law) has been staying with us since Ali started to labor. She’s been cooking and cleaning up a storm, teaching us how to care for the baby, and taking on a lion’s share of the diaper changes and burpings. I’ve been trying to take care of Ali while she recovers from surgery and learns to cope with this new little baby. My parents have been around pretty much every day from 10am until 6pm. My Mom has been cooking, cleaning and playing with the baby. My Dad will hold the baby and promise her trips around the world so long as she isn’t crying.
Cyndy goes home tomorrow and my parents are coming to stay with us. I’m sure it will be fine, but I’m a little scared to do anything that may upset the cart. Faye’s been pretty easy going, but I honestly can’t claim to know why. Is she just a mild tempered baby who is happy to eat, burp, crap and sleep? Or have we accidentally stumbled upon some magic routine that keeps her happy and quiet. Reason would indicate the former, but I fear the latter. Time will tell.
March 27, 2007 at 6:02 pm · Filed under Faye
Well she’s not much for writing (yet), but she takes a mean photo. Check out Faye’s photo gallery here. I’ll be trying to keep it updated so that all of the photo seekers out there don’t bother me. As an added bonus this way I don’t have to send out mass emails to everyone I know with pictures that they may or may not care about. I think she’s awesome but it’s fairly presumptuous to assume that everyone else will too.
I opted not to password protect the site for the time being; I’ll be keeping track of the traffic though and if I notice any creepy creepies trolling about I’ll lock it up. If some day you go there and it’s locked just send me and email and if I can figure out who you are I’ll send you a username/password.
Enjoy!
March 26, 2007 at 8:43 pm · Filed under Faye
Faye Adèle Silgard. That’s weird. I mean really weird. A brand new little person just waiting to be dropped, dogged, or distorted. I’ve read a lot in the last few days and paid extra close attention to all of the Dr’s, Nurses and Moms; I’ve even tried a thing or two all my own. Here’s what I know so far: Faye’s taking it easy on me.
She seems to have settled on somewhat of a routine - eat, change, sleep, repeat. There’s the occasional eat, change, eat, sleep, eat, eat, eat, eat… but they’re the exception more than the rule. People tell me that getting a newborn on a routine is impossible but I can’t see any harm in trying.
It’s not as though it’s all been easy. Trying to juggle an eager family, excited friends, an exhausted wife, crazy pups and the weight of new fatherhood is certainly taking its toll. My eye twitches now. Not all of the time, but just often enough. It drives me crazy. My wife is exhausted. I’m doing all I can to ease the load, but the demands placed on a new Mom are crazy. She’s been sleeping in little one to two hour installments for the last four days, and all too often she misses those while visiting friends or singing to her baby.
We’ve revamped Billy Talent’s “Red Flag” and sing it to Faye like a lullaby.
I love my Faye she’s such a cute
I love my Faye Faye she’s such a cute
I love my Faye she’s such a cute
I really love my Faye she’s such a cute
This is entirely my doing and I’m not certain Billy Talent would approve.
Parents and in-laws have been great. Unlike many people I get along just fine with the in-laws and Me Mamma (that’s what I call my Mother-in-law) has been staying with us since Faye’s birth. She reared four children of her own so she’s full of tips, tricks and “I wish I hadn’t”s. My Mom has been awesome too; she’s been working her little butt off to hold down the fort - cooking, cleaning, loving and sneaking time with Faye. Grant and my Dad both have their tough guy faces on, but we can all tell that they’re both gah-gah for little Faye. Then again, who wouldn’t be?
